Living Life to the Fullest
Living life to the fullest these days looks different than I once thought it would. These days living life to the fullest. I once thought living life to the fullest would look like being able to afford whatever I want or travel to the world. Don’t get me wrong, I love to travel and explore new cultures, but living life to the fullest has felt simpler.
Living life to the fullest these days is taking my black lab on walks by the lake while I listen to the waves crash angrily on the shoreline. It is walking up the front steps, shopping bags in hand into the first place that has truly felt like home to me in years. It is having the freedom to paint my kitchen a lovely shade of green. It is appreciating the way the sunlight dances on the walls in the morning while I make my coffee. It is lighting a candle as I read a book a friend lent to me as I allow my mind to wander to a different world. It is picking ripe red apples off my tree and sharing them with loved ones. Living life to the fullest is falling asleep on the couch while watching a movie with my person because I feel safe. It is playing a card game in our small living room sitting crisscrossed around the coffee table. Living life to the fullest is cooking dinner after a long day while the smooth velvety voice of Norah Jones plays through my speakers. It is laughing until my stomach hurts driving home late at night in the car with a new friend. It is watching my sister transition into motherhood and wondering what my future niece or nephew will look like. Living life to the fullest for me feels like rest. It is the ability to be in the moment, at home in my own mind. The shame of it all is how often I take it all for granted. Sometimes I get lost and overwhelmed by the stress of life. But then I suddenly find myself in a moment where I am reminded, I am currently living in what I once prayed so desperately for. It really is the simplest of moments where I suddenly find myself overwhelmed with gratitude and wondering what I did to deserve it all. When this realization hits, I close my eyes and allow this peace to rush over me like ocean waves. I never thought such peace could be mine. The sixteen-year-old version of me who was too afraid to leave her home, crippled with paranoia never thought I would one day get to live a life outside of survival. Suddenly the mundane doesn’t feel so mundane and the every day Tuesday feels like absolute bliss. Living life to the fullest is realizing I have everything I need right here in the everyday moments.
